Sunday, October 26, 2014

Goodbye SaraLynn

Sweet babygirl, the odds were against you from day one, weren't they?  Your mom, a 2-time cancer survivor, is 43 years old.  Your dad is 37.  They love each other so much.  They love YOU so much.  While you were growing in your mom, you saved her life.  Did you know that?  Your mom's cancer came back, attacked her kidney, and killed it.  Since the kidney died, it stopped the spread of the cancer.  You helped filter your mom's blood.  If not for you, she may not have known the cancer came back until it was too late.  You saved her.

The doctors kept a very close eye on you and your mom.  She said that no matter what, the focus should be kept on you and your health.  She went to medical extremes to give you the best shot she could.  She wanted so badly for you to grow healthy and strong so you could meet her and your dad.  They were both so excited at the possibilities of your future.

Your dad has been a good friend to me for a few years and has been your mom's rock.  When everything was falling apart, he stood firm and kept his focus on what was best for you and your mom.  Even when the doctors realized you weren't able to grow like they had hoped, your dad never lost faith in you.  If his faith alone could have healed you, it would have.  Unfortunately, the strain on your little body has been too much.  The doctors helped your mom stay pregnant for over 10 months just to try and give you enough time to shine, but sadly, for as good as modern medicine is, it can't fix everything.

Today your mom is at home losing you.  The hospital told her to stay there until her body and totally let go.  Your dad is on a fishing trip and your mom hasn't called him.  She wanted him to have one more weekend with the guys before breaking his heart with the news of your passing.  Your mom is perhaps the strongest woman I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  She tried so hard, baby, but her body is giving out on her too.  She would have gladly sacrificed herself to save you.  One hundred times over she would have given her life for yours in a heartbeat.

There have been so many people rooting for you.  Your mom has endured hours upon hours of questions from well-meaning people asking about you.  I don't blame her for isolating to escape the questions that had no answers.  I only hope these same well-meaning people don't pelt your parents with the things people say in these situations that only make it worse.  "At least it happened before she was born."  "She's in a better place."  "God must have needed her more than you did."  People say these things, not realizing how insulting and hurtful they are.  I have heard every one of these and more.

Rest peacefully babygirl.  Know that there is a community of people who love you and your parents and will hold them up as they learn to let go of the hopes and dreams they held for you.  They will never forget you.

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