Tuesday, February 25, 2014

It's Donna's Day!

Mary Tyler Mom.  If you are familiar with my blog and facebook, you have more than likely stumble across her or across a page that talks about her.  She is funny, and sweet, and caring, and fierce, and devoted, and a mom to 2 children on Earth and one that isn't here any more.  I don't even know her personally, but she amazes me nonetheless.


This sweet little nugget it Donna.  Donna died from cancer.  Mary Tyler Mom chronicled Donna's life here.  Instead of being sucked into the sadness, Donna's mom chooses hope.  Every damn day.  Instead of crawling into the dark hole of grief that is entirely too inviting some days, Donna's mom is a tireless advocate for childhood cancer and raising awareness and money for research.

If you have a moment today, visit Mary Tyler Mom's facebook page and blog.  Read Donna's story.  Yes, you will cry.  Yes, you will want to stop reading.  Yes, if you make it through the whole story, your life will be different.  Maybe not a huge change, but enough to give you the courage to always choose hope.

Monday, February 3, 2014

The effect of an addict's death comes in many forms.

I have a confession to make.  Not a funny confession, but an serious as it gets confession.  Friday night I stumbled across a new type of mixed alcoholic drink on facebook.  Saturday morning, I looked up their website and saw all of the yummy concoctions they make.  Saturday evening, still enamored with these drinks, I sent emails to Boss and Sidekick telling them that we NEED to sell these concoctions in our liquor store.  Saturday night I was fully intending to try all  7 flavors once we got them at the store.

Did you read that?  I FULLY INTENDED TO DRINK EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT DRINKING WILL BURN MY LIFE TO THE GROUND AND TAKE AWAY EVERYTHING I LOVE.

Why would I be willing to risk that? Because I'm the type of alcoholic that can talk herself into things.  I can talk myself into things that I KNOW are absolute bullshit.  I talked myself into fully believing, without a shadow of a doubt, that I would drink one of each of the 7 flavors and that would be it.  I just wanted to TRY them.

On Sunday I heard about Phillip Seymour Hoffman.  On Sunday, I remembered that I really AM an alcoholic and even THINKING about drinking is like playing with fire.  It took the DEATH of a man I've never met, a fellow addict, to stop the bullshit playing in my head trying to convince me that "I'll be FINE" is the same lie it has always been.

We walk over the bodies in recovery, devastated to see the disease claim another person, but rejoicing that for one more day, it wasn't us.